State of the Republic: FA Cup third round, part 2
09:00, 07 Jan 2013
Shane Stapleton and John Kelly
You've read part one, now part two of our roundup and sneering of the third round of the FA Cup...
MIDFIELDERS
Lee Frecklington (Rotherham United)
Played 90 minutes (Aldershot Town 3-1 Rotherham United)
Scrapes in by dint of an appearance in a B international in 2006. That game was a horror 0-0 draw with Scotland and must rank as one of the most pointless games of all time. It did feature Alan O’Brien who has surely experienced one of the greatest falls from grace in the history of football. He won five caps (admittedly at a time when Stan was handing them out as if he was earning commission on them) but now plays for Hungerford Town in the vaguely named Southern League. Ah, Alan O’Brien, your candle burned out long before your legend ever will. After that compelling digression we don’t really care that Frecklington scored a consolation penalty as Aldershot ran riot.
Samir Carruthers (Aston Villa)
Unused sub (Aston Villa 2-1 Ipswich Town)
Stephen Ireland (Aston Villa)
Played 20 minutes (Aston Villa 2-1 Ipswich Town)
Gave away a free-kick and then kindly blocked it with his Stephen Ireland face. His Stephen Ireland get-up provoked a tackle from Luke Hyam that resulted in a booking for Luke Hyman.
Stephen Dawson (Barnsley)
Played 90 minutes (Barnsley 1-0 Burnley)
The FA are set to examine their rulebook after a little boy in an inflatable doll – picture Ronald McDonald – scored the winner. Here’s Barnsley manager David Flitcroft after the game: “I was made up for Danny Rose getting the winning goal, he's somebody who will score goals for this football club and today he's got a real important one,” he said, before giving the game away. “This boy, once he grows into his body, he's going to be some player and some goal-scorer for this football club.”
Chris McCann (Burnley)
Not in squad (Barnsley 1-0 Burnley)
Keith Treacy (Burnley)
Played 45 minutes (Barnsley 1-0 Burnley)
Before the game he said: “I am a footballer (Look it up, he really did).” Was fouled a bit, did a bit of fouling himself, crossed the ball into the box and then went off at half-time.
Keith Andrews (Bolton Wanderers)
Played 90 minutes (Bolton Wanderers 2-2 Sunderland)
Ireland’s best player at the Euros (that still shocks us) was never the most creative player or the most influential or the best passer or the best at controlling the tempo and all those aspects of his game were evident against Sunderland.
James McClean (Sunderland)
Played 90 minutes (Bolton Wanderers 2-2 Sunderland)
Was involved in one of Sunderland’s goals but was about as creative as a Mills and Boon novel.
Gary Dicker (Brighton)
Played 90 minutes (Brighton 2-0 Newcastle United)
The former UCD midfielder went close with a looped header against a team slagged off by its manager after the game. No surprise there. We wonder how much it would cost to sack Alan Pardew. He’s a few games into a deal lasting eight-years, by which time NASA might conceivably have a base on the moon.
Sean Scannell (Huddersfield Town)
Played 90 minutes (Charlton Athletic 0-1 Huddersfield Town)
It looks like Huddersfield coach Ian Miller might be on to something after saying, “Today we played as a team” after the win against Charlton. Mark him down as the next Helenio Herrara. Scannell was once rated very highly and won a B cap in 2008. It might be a bit harsh to write him off at the age of 22 but we’re going to go right ahead and do it anyway.
Conor Clifford (Crawley Town – on loan from Chelsea)
Not in squad (Crawley Town 1-3 Reading)
Has had several loan moves now but can’t seem to tie himself down anywhere.
Jay Tabb (Reading)
Played 90 minutes (Crawley Town 1-3 Reading)
Bits and pieces, nuts and bolts, nooks and crannies, odds and ends.
Owen Garvan (Crystal Palace)
Not in squad (Crystal Palace 0-0 Stoke City)
Glenn Whelan (Stoke City)
Not in squad (Crystal Palace 0-0 Stoke City)
Given a well-earned rest and his much-craned neck certainly needed it.
Rory Delap (Stoke City)
Not in squad (Crystal Palace 0-0 Stoke City)
Jeff Hendrick (Derby County)
Played 90 minutes (Derby County 5-0 Tranmere Rovers)
2009/10, 2010/11 Central League Central Division Champion, 2011 Derbyshire Senior Cup winner, 2012 Sammy Crooks Young Player of the Year, 1968 Artist of the Year, 1968 Pop Musician of the Year, 1968 Performer of the Year, 1968 Rock Album of the Year, 1968 Key to the City and 1970 Rock Guitarist of the Year. 2012 third round FA Cup goalscorer.
Damien Duff (Fulham)
Injured (Fulham 1-1 Blackpool)
Stephen Quinn (Hull City)
Unused sub (Hull City 1-1 Leyton Orient)
Hull City’s equaliser came from a 26-year-old striker with no pedigree who cost £2.6m. Someone should investigate that.
Martin Rowlands (Leyton Orient)
Played 90 minutes (Hull City 1-1 Leyton Orient)
Do we really need to keep including him in this list?
James McCarthy (Wigan Athletic)
Not in squad (Wigan Athletic 1-1 Bournemouth)
Roberto Martinez was good enough not to waste James McCarthy’s time by telling him to go watch the NFL play-offs instead of rolling around with a team that actor Seth Rogan once namechecked as his faves: Bourne-mouth (he hadn’t a clue who they were), he called them. Rumours for McCarthy grow of a move to a host of teams bedecked in red.
Andy Reid (Nottingham Forest)
Played 37 minutes (Nottingham Forest 2-3 Oldham Athletic)
Reid’s dangerous free-kick led to Matt Smith’s own goal early on. Came off before half-time with an injury and that, along with the dismissal of Danny Collins, allowed Oldham turn a 1-0 half-time deficit in a W.
Wes Hoolahan (Norwich City)
Not in squad (Peterborough United 0-3 Norwich City)
Chris Hughton pulled a Roberto Martinez-James McCarthy on this. Why bother?
Anthony Pilkington (Norwich City)
Unused sub (Peterborough United 0-3 Norwich City)
Wasn’t needed; probably wasn’t arsed.
Stephen Hunt (Wolverhampton Wanderers)
Injured (Luton 1-0 Wolverhampton Wanderers)
Hip – and we don’t mean his hairstyle – injury.
Anthony Forde (Wolverhampton Wanderers)
Not in squad (Luton 1-0 Wolverhampton Wanderers)
Stephen McPhail (Cardiff City)
Played 90 minutes (Macclesfield Town 2-1 Cardiff City)
His first appearance of the season since a Capitol One defeat to Northampton on the first day. Did not go too well as the exceptionally named Matthew Barnes-Homer bagged a brace (what a weird phrase) to keep Macclesfield dancing in the cup.
Mark Yeates (Watford)
Unused sub (Manchester City 3-0 Watford)
Sean Murray (Watford)
Not in squad (Manchester City 3-0 Watford)
Connor Smith (Watford)
Not in squad (Manchester City 3-0 Watford)
Kane Ferdinand (Peterborough United)
Played 90 minutes (Peterborough United 0-3 Norwich City)
Dangerous on occasion but his side didn’t get it to him enough in dangerous areas.
Daniel Kearns (Peterborough United)
Not in squad (Peterborough United 0-3 Norwich City)
Has been linked with a move to Bradford City, seeing as you didn’t ask.
Michael Doyle (Sheffield United)
Played 90 minutes (Oxford United 0-3 Sheffield United)
Dominated midfield as the Blades coasted to victory at Oxford. Booked for a tackle on Peter Leven.
Paul Green (Leeds United)
Not in squad (Leeds United 1-1 Birmingham City)
Aidy White (Leeds United)
Played 45 minutes (Leeds United 1-1 Birmingham City)
Back in after suspension, was pure solid useless on the wing, and so was taken off for El-Hadji Diouf at the break.
Keith Fahey (Birmigham City)
Not in squad (Leeds United 1-1 Birmingham City)
David McAllister (Sheffield United)
Not in squad (Oxford United 0-3 Sheffield United)
Eunan O’Kane (Bournemouth)
Played 90 minutes (Wigan Athletic 1-1 Bournemouth)
A top top display from a top top plaaaare. The Republic of Ireland under-21 star scored the goal of the game with a brilliant strike from outside the box which capped a man of the match display from the midfielder.
Harry Arter (Bournemouth)
Played 90 minutes (Wigan Athletic 1-1 Bournemouth)
Battling display from Arter, but missed a great chance late on to seal a memorable result.
Donal McDermott (Bournemouth)
Unused sub (Wigan Athletic 1-1 Bournemouth)
Seems a long time ago that McDermott was seen as a bright prospect with Man City.
David Bell (Coventry City)
Not in squad (Tottenham Hotspur 3-0 Coventry City)
Michael Timlin (Southend United)
Played 90 minutes (Southend United 2-2 Brentford)
Bright performance in midfield and unlucky not to get on the scoresheet. Gnashed into a few tackles.
Jonathan Douglas (Brentford)
Played 90 minutes (Southend United 2-2 Brentford)
Did his usual: talentless on the ball but a visionary off it, with that great ability to always see the next tackle. Tweeted thusly after the game: “Still in the hat on what was a tough game on a tough pitch.” Leave the clichés to us, Jonathan.
Paul Corry (Sheffield Wednesday)
Unused sub (Sheffield Wednesday 0-0 MK Dons)
Darren Potter (MK Dons)
Played 90 minutes (Sheffield Wednesday 0-0 MK Dons)
Refusing to enter his thirties despite being on the go since Rafiki first showed off Simba to the world, 28-year-old Potter did his usual neat bits and pieces at midfield for MK Dons against the Owls. Ran the game, in fact, and put in some dangerous deliveries. Played in triangles, which is confusing for a box-to-box player.
Stephen Gleeson (MK Dons)
Injured (Sheffield Wednesday 0-0 MK Dons)
Will Hayhurst (Preston North End)
Unused sub (Millwall 1-0 Preston North End)
STRIKERS
Shane Long (West Brom)
Played 90 minutes (QPR 1-1 West Brom)
It may have taken a deflection but Long’s crisp shot seemed to have put the Baggies on their way to round four. Had another one saved by Julio Cesar and put himself about. Was a big loss for Tipperary as they beat UCC in hurley wurly on Sunday.
Kevin Doyle (Wolverhampton Wanderers)
Played 68 minutes (Luton 1-0 Wolverhampton Wanderers)
Yes, Doyle still kicks the soccer ball and runs after it with his usual relentlessness. Unfortunately it’s with a useless team and, though he won a few free-kicks, he was unable to get on the scoresheet against useless Luton.
Simon Cox (Nottingham Forest)
Played 90 minutes (Nottingham Forest 2-3 Oldham Athletic)
Worked hard and that was somewhat rewarded when he forced a mix-up in the Oldham defence for Matt Smith’s own goal.
Daryl Murphy (Ipswich Town)
Played 70 minutes (Aston Villa 2-1 Ipswich Town)
Subbed off having made little impact, we assume.
Leon Best (Blackburn Rovers)
Injured (Blackburn Rovers 2-0 Bristol City)
Disgraced our Premier League State of the Republic roundup many, many times last season. Has the good sense to be injured this season.
Alan Lee (Huddersfield Town)
Not in squad (Charlton Athletic 0-1 Huddersfield Town)
Thirty-four years of age now and simply refuses to retire.
Billy Clarke (Crawley Town)
Played 90 minutes (Crawley Town 1-3 Reading)
Crawley went ahead after 14 seconds but it all went south after that for last season’s fifth rounders. Manager Richie Barker said his side were, “fantastic from minute one”. We assume he meant to say, “fantastic for one minute”.
Noel Hunt (Reading)
Played 90 minutes (Crawley Town 1-3 Reading)
This game possibly represents the pinnacle of his career: he scored one and was fouled for a penalty. Best to enjoy these moments because Reading will be getting relegated in five months.
Jonathan Walters (Stoke City)
Played 90 minutes (Crystal Palace 0-0 Stoke City)
We’d say this was a classic. Walters was shifted out wide with the return of Michael Owen for his first start since a game against Otelul Galati 14 months ago. Bet Walters wasn’t too galati about that. Badum, tish.
Conor Sammon (Derby County)
Played 90 minutes (Derby County 5-0 Tranmere Rovers)
Sammon scored the second but seriously, I’m going mad, Ted. When will this end? Can I go home?
Dave Mooney (Leyton Orient)
Played 90 minutes (Hull City 1-1 Leyton Orient)
Scored Leyt-on but Hull’s mystery man got the pointless late equaliser.
Andy Keogh (Millwall)
Not in squad (Millwall 1-0 Preston North End)
Courtney Love’s auld broken toe is still at her. Bless.
Aiden O’Brien (Millwall)
Not in squad (Millwall 1-0 Preston North End)
Roy O’Donovan (Coventry City)
Not in squad (Tottenham Hotspur 3-0 Coventry City)
Out of contract in May and, with Andy Thorn usually going with one up front, he’ll be motoring out of yet another Dodge in the near future.
Stephen Elliott (Coventry City)
Unused sub (Tottenham Hotspur 3-0 Coventry City)
Remember when he used to look like a good good plaaare? Yeah, you’d want a good memory alright.
Adam Barton (Coventry City)
Not in squad (Tottenham Hotspur 3-0 Coventry City)
Came on for 40 minutes, ran around a bit, and had a decent shot blocked by Steven Caulker.
Graham Cummins (Preston North End)
Played 9 minutes (Millwall 1-0 Preston North End)
Came on late in the game and missed a chance from six yards. Oops.
Joe Mason (Cardiff City)
Not in squad (Macclesfield Town 2-1 Cardiff City)
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